Quiet moments on a cold morning...

It is still dark outside. The sun has not yet made its circuit into my day. It is frequent that I am up at odd hours, my mind full of thoughts that will not let me rest. This morning though, is different.

I wake up and pull my usually decorative heavy comforter from the foot of my bed over me--I pause...what!? I am not feeling hot or sweaty?

I am giddy with excitement!

It is chilly this morning!

Nope. Doesn't take much.

I lay in bed for a bit...and think to myself, I should take advantage of this time. I am awake. Aside from a kitty demanding to be fed, I am the ONLY one awake in this household.

I quietly sneak out of bed, pull on my favorite sweatshirt and sweatpants (YESSSSS!!!) and reheat yesterday's coffee (am I the only one that enjoys day old coffee?).

I feed the kitty, head back down to my bedroom which happens to be in the basement, and begin my day. I print off some labels for some shipments I plan to mail off, then climb back into bed and cuddle up with my coffee and my computer.

Here I am.

I am smiling to myself, like a big ol' nerdy goof nugget.

Why?

Because it's FALL! It is not officially considered fall for 2 more days, but after hiking in crunchy leaves with my boys in the chill air yesterday and waking this morning cold--in my mind, yep, it is fall!

I am certain at least 25 percent of the population tout fall as being their favorite season, and I am definitely one of those people. September 1st I pulled out my fall decorations in spite of the fact that it was almost 100 degrees outside that day. Yesterday morning I made pumpkin pancakes for my youngest son (his request). And just two days ago, we had our first piece of Pumpkin Kringle thanks to Trader Joe's!

My boys are already talking about Halloween and, of course, birthdays because my youngest has a birthday on the 27th of October. With coronavirus still pretty active, and cases rising from the holiday weekend (Labor Day shenanigans) I am fairly certain I will not be taking my boys out for Halloween. However, I did promise a right good party for them! Costumes on, their top three favorite types of candy, our carved pumpkins lit with candles, popcorn, and all the halloween specials they want to watch--in the comfort of our home. They seemed pretty excited at this prospect, and I am thankful that my boys are still young enough to get excited at my enthusiastically proposed ideas. The eye rolling has not quite yet begun.

I have to say, I have desperately needed a morning like this. It's been rough. This time last year I was being dumped by my ex, then after an extremely depressing holiday season, coronavirus hit. I have been at home with my boys since March. The boys' school just extended remote learning through the end of November, I have not been able to safely open my preschool, and my side hustle ended. On top of all this, the money from FEMA that I was relying on getting was denied because my unemployment pay is under the minimum criteria. Seriously? Why are me and my boys getting zero help because I make too little?

I spent a day and a half crying, and then put my thinking cap and my big girl panties on and started selling everything I owned that could possibly make a few dollars. 4 days later, I have packaged up and mailed many things and thankfully, have earned enough money to get me through the next few weeks. I am praying that a bill gets approved for more government assistance and a second round of stimulus checks. I am also looking for remote work since I have to homeschool for another 2 and 1/2 months--minimum.

I can just now hear one of my boys creeping down the stairs to the main floor. It is only a matter of time before he comes down to my room, hoping to wake me for food or company. I am feeling so thankful though, for the quiet couple of hours I have had. For the cold morning! For sweatshirts and hot coffee! For quiet moments on this dark, fall morning.

It gives me hope that better things will come--it will not all be hurt and pain and suffering. It will not all be desperation and feeling incapable of supporting my kids. And even if this is the only time this week I can feel like this, I am grateful for it and will reflect on it as the rest of the week comes zooming in.

P.S. I am totally enjoying all the fall pumpkin vibes--I'm one of those girls that has NOT gotten tired of the pumpkin stuff! Pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin waffles, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin bread, pumpkin kringle, pumpkin crackers with pumpkin cream cheese...mmmmmmmmmmm.. :)

Thanks for sharing them with me friends!