The Waiting Game

I will be completely honest. I hate waiting. I am terrible at waiting. And yet, it seems like I spend a majority of my life doing nothing but...

that's right...

waiting.

It is frustrating, exhausting, and leaves room for worry and stress and fear of the unknown.

It seems to be a universal truth that everyone has to wait at some point in life. We wait for pretty much everything from day one. We wait to be born. We wait to eat, we wait to crawl and walk and speak and write and read. We wait to do the fun things we want to do as children. We wait for fun times, for school to end, for summer, for the holidays, for birthdays. We wait to learn to drive, to grow up and be adults, to move out, to find true love, to find a job, to start a family, for our kids to grow up, to retire, to have grandkids...the list goes on and on. We wait even for the most trivial things: in line for groceries, for the web page to load, or for a package to be delivered.

It is my belief that life happens while we are busy waiting (a similar quote says, while we are busy making plans--but I am taking creative liberty to change it up). So, while I am waiting to finish training for my job I am still tending to my children, paying bills, hiking, cooking, cleaning, etc. While I am waiting to heal from the painful events of my past, I am still working, reading, praying and living my life. Life does not stop just because what we are hoping for isn't happening.

How many kids are waiting for Halloween, or Christmas, or their birthday? ALL of them! and in the meantime, they are going to school, dealing with day to day chores and experiences--real life is happening to them that shapes them into who they are growing up to be.

I have a friend who seems to be the most patient person in the world. This person is willing to prolong most anything so he has "something to look forward to." I can see the reasoning behind it, and yet--I am too impatient to relate well. However, in my eyes, there are a few things worth waiting for and the main thing is love--love is always worth waiting for. Jesus--He waits for us. He died for us knowing that He would have to wait for us to choose Him, or not.

I am a firm believer that kindness and love and helpfulness ALWAYS win. And even though I have been hurt and am hurting and realistically am aware that I will be hurt in the future, the small kindnesses and tokens of affection and restraint from acting out in anger or frustration will be worth it in the end. I suppose it can be viewed as weakness--or allowing people to take advantage...but I look at it as part of the wait. It is a part of storing up my treasures in heaven, and knowing that I have no idea how my behavior may impact another person. If I am to be accountable for my actions--then I choose for them to be done out of love and compassion rather than anger or fear.

Time passes like water through our fingers-- 2020 has transpired and I am still waiting for some of the same things--I can look back though and be thankful that I didn't just mope and let time pass while waiting. I accomplished a LOT of wonderful things over the past year.

I started a blog! I embraced hiking and began drawing again! I started a new career, and am working on building self confidence. I'm letting myself be a little less repressed, and am accepting both the good qualities and the bad (like not being patient). I am working on having patience and being kind to my ex--though I feel entitled to have anger and be spiteful I know that is not helpful or gracious.

Most things in life take effort and time, patience, and a willingness to continue living while you wait. This goes for pursuing a career and getting the training needed, being a parent, losing weight, becoming good at a certain skill, growing things in a garden, strong relationships with others, saving money-- the list is endless.

Don't give up.

Don't give up waiting.

Don't give up hoping.

Don't give up living your life.

Accept life as each day comes, and give it your very best. Don't worry about perfect timing, don't worry about failing. Live your life while you wait-- waiting is a daily part of life--but it doesn't mean giving up, it means "having something to look forward to."